Interview with an Adolescent Parent
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Interview with an Adolescent Parent
1. How is your child’s self-esteem now as a teen compared to when she was younger?
When she was younger, she did not think of things, now when she grew up, she has very low self esteem and always cares about how she looks and tries to change herself and look better. Moreover, when she has a pimple on her face, she will not go out until it goes away. Presently, she tries her best to ensure that she looks good whether or not there is an occasion. Even when I send her to the market, she usually dresses up and takes a longer time to get ready. The first time I noticed this, I asked her about her sudden change in appearance and she asserted that she needed to look good. From that point on, she consistently worries about her physical look.
2. Did her interests change when she became a teenager?
Yes. When she was younger, she used to move a lot and do many sports but now; she stays at home, watches television and movies, and expresses interest in makeup. Her interests have become more in tune with fashion and pop culture. As a child, she did not have any regard for these things even though she is a girl. However, after becoming a teen, she began expressing considerable interest in celebrities, their lives, and even the fashion they wear. In addition to this, her inclination to fashion has influenced her to use makeup significantly; an aspect that I recently discovered when we went to church this past month. Besides the movies and television, she has also become interested in popular music.
3. Did her friends change when she became a teenager?
No. her friends are still the same but she made more friends. The companions that she grew up with have also become older. Presently, most of them are the same age with her. Despite this shared history, she has also gained even more friends since she became a teenager. Nowadays, she focuses considerably on maintaining a good appearance for her friends and in return, they accept her. Furthermore, she is a frequent user of Facebook and consistently uses her phone whenever she is at home. At one time, one of her new friends visited her and since I was unfamiliar with her, I asked her about how they knew each other. With that, she told me that they connected via the mentioned site.
4. Did her eating habits get better?
She eats less because she is worried about getting fat. Before her teenage years, she was a little bit overweight. She used to eat a lot and not worry about the types of food she ate. In fact, she loved eating sugary things such as cakes and biscuits. After becoming a teenager, she started expressing interest in dieting and the types of food she ate. On some days, she could only consume water and head out to meet one of her friends without eating anything. She has also cut out frames of thin fashion models and placed them on her door. Nowadays, whenever I cook, she prefers eating vegetables and avoids things such as bread, rice, or even potatoes. Interestingly, she also takes morning jogs when she is free.
5. Are her grades better now since she was a child?
When she was younger, she did not care about her grades, but now she is a teen, she is more wary because she wants to attend a good university. In addition, her grades have improved considerably. The aspirations that she had as a child have changed in comparison with her current self. Recently, she began exuding curiosity towards subjects related to airplane attendance and cabin crew management. Even though she would not tell me, I am aware of this career choice. Furthermore, after becoming a teen, she gradually developed a self-reading habit. When she was younger, I usually had to coerce her to study. Currently, she takes it upon herself to read and study daily, especially when she has the time.
6. Was there a difference in height and weight?
Yes, she lost weight and grew taller. As she grew older, she reduced the amount of foodstuff she consumed considerably. Because of this, she even became thin. When she was younger, she was plump. Moreover, she was also stout. However, as she turned thirteen, her height began to increase consistently. This increase in height continued harmoniously with a considerable decrease in weight in her later years. Currently, it has got to a point where she is actually taller than I am even though she was short when young. The dresses that she once wore are either large around the waist or shorter based on the increased length of her arms and legs. As for now, she is becoming taller and regularly ensuring that she is thin.
7. How is your relationship with your daughter?
It is a good relationship though somehow distant. However, she has a better relationship with her father than me. Before she became a teen, we had a significantly strong mother-daughter relationship. Even though her father was regularly involved, she usually needed me by her side whether she was happy or sad. We could spend an entire day together and she would talk to me about anything. However, as she became a teenager, we started drifting away gradually. Even though I tried to get to open up a couple of times, she quickly shut me out and instead, confided in her father. Presently, whenever I ask her to do simple things with me such as accompanying me to the market or the store, she rejects.
8. In comparison, how is your daughter’s relationship with her father?
Based on the strained relationship I have with my daughter, I could say the opposite for the one she has with her father. Nowadays, she is more inclined to open up to her father. However, her father also plays an important role in terms of the growing relationship with her. Normally, he is never critical and as such, very approachable. Moreover, he listens to what she has to say and even accepts her perspective. Additionally, he communicates instead of becoming defensive and shutting her out in instances where there is disparity between both of their opinions. This influences her to be even more open towards her father. Even though we do have a respectable relationship, she is more close to her father.
9. Has she ever done anything disrespectful or without your consent?
My daughter has always been respectful towards her father and me ever since she was little. Nevertheless, during one incident, she acted without informing me. Right after she turned thirteen, she started concealing her whereabouts. As such, I regularly coerced her to tell me and she did so unwillingly. However, this past month, she went out without saying anything to me and returned the following day. I had tried to contact her but she failed to respond which infuriated me and increased my anxiety. When she arrived the following morning, she said that she visited one of her female friends and by the time she wanted to leave, it was late. Because of that, she decided to stay in for the night.
10. What was her reaction when she received her first menstrual period?
Honestly, she was terrified during that day. Even though she told me that she learnt about it in school, her reaction to the incident was shocking. The sight of blood nearly made her unconscious at the time. In addition to this, she was embarrassed to talk about it with me. In fact, because of this particular issue, she began confiding in me about other changes that were taking place in her body. With this, she began involving me in matters that were mainly female. During her first period, her curiosity increased in terms of the measures used to prevent the effects normally associated with the biological process. Eventually, she became used to it and stopped opening up about it as she became older.
11. Does she talk about or spend the day with her friends more than you and her siblings?
Normally, she never converses with me about her friends; however, the time that she spends with us is limited in comparison with the time she consumes when with her companions. With an increase in friends, my daughter had become rather elusive over the last couple of years. Much of her attention is usually fixed on the relationships she has with her comrades and the experiences they have together. Most of the time, she is either on the phone or visiting them. When she was younger, she would normally spend time with her brothers and remain indoors. Nowadays, she has become distant with her brothers and exhibits little contact with me whenever she is at home. Lastly, her father asserts that she talks more about her friends and the things they did or say when she confides in him.
12. Have you noticed any change in sleeping patterns since she became a teen?
Before becoming a teenager, my daughter would usually sleep early and rise at dawn. She always had a fixed time for sleeping and became irritable past that specified period. Nowadays, she ends up sleeping late in the night despite locking herself in the room at night. One night, I decided to check up on her only to see that she was on her phone with the lights off. Since she sleeps late, she wakes up late as well, except in instances where she has planned to visit her friends in the neighboring abodes. Furthermore, her consistent use of the smartphone I bought for her contributes to these changes in her sleep patterns. Whenever she enters the house in the evening, she spends nearly the whole night texting and surfing the internet.
References
Berk, L. E. (2012). Infants, children, and adolescents. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
Dacey, J. S., Kenny, M., & Margolis, D. (2004). Adolescent development. Mason, OH: Thomson.
Kroger, J. (2009). Identity in adolescence: The balance between self and other. London: Routledge.
Nakkula, M. J., & Toshalis, E. (2010). Understanding youth: Adolescent development for educators. Cambridge, MA: Harvard Education Press.
Shannon, P. (2013). The overlooked generation: Parenting teens and tweens in a complicated culture. Franklin, TN: Carpenter’s Son Publishing.
Steinberg, L. (2007). Adolescence. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Strauch, B. (2003). The primal teen. New York, NY: Doubleday.